A Word from the Clam

It's odd that I seem to spew emotion at sometimes and clam up at others. My grandmother, my last living grandparent, died last month. I wrote a note to close friends and family. I'm finally ready to share it here.

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Dad's mom passed away Saturday morning. Clinton and I were at Carl and Robbi Jo's wedding in St.Simon's and Kingsland. Mom waited (thankfully) until late afternoon to call us so we could enjoy the ceremony and reception. Mimi had been sick for several years and ultimately died of heart failure.

Mimi was terribly fun yet also a neat freak. Her husband died of a heart attack in 1966, before I was born. Mom taught her how to drive in her '66 forest green Mustang with a black vinyl top. It had 67K miles on it when she stopped driving. Kati and I always loved to ride in it with her. She'd take us by her work at the nursing home to visit patients and employees. She loved to spoil us and bought us shoes like Olivia Newton John's when "Grease" came out. She'd make us silver dollar pancakes with Golden Eagle syrup. She was a great cook and made really awesome corn; I'm still trying to master her recipe. She taught me how to sew, her favorite hobby. She read "The Star" and watched "General Hospital." She'd let Kati and I play beauty parlor and cover her head in metal curlers, laughing the whole time.

Unfortunately Clinton never got to experience Mimi as her full self. She had a stroke which impaired her mentally, though not physically, before they met. As we've been together 17 years, that tells you how long her decline has been. It's been about 7 years since she could recognize me. I take comfort in knowing that she is finally whole again.

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I love you, Mimi.

Meow?

So my 15 year old kitty got sick with hyperthyroidism (and later died of complications from cancer.) In hindsight, I was able to keep her healthier and buy her another 6 months by making homemade food. I’m posting the recipes here.

Chicken Divan
1 large can of white meat chicken with juice
1/2 large bag of frozen chopped broccoli
1 Tbsp Benefiber
Steam broccoli.Place all ingredients in food processor. Blend until almost smooth consistency.

Tuna & Carrots (I know this sounds totally gross, but I swear, she liked it.)
1 large can of tuna in spring water
1/2 bag of frozen baby carrots
1 Tbsp Benefiber
Steam carrots.Place all ingredients in food processor. Blend until almost smooth consistency.

Storing and Serving
I use little 3 oz. “dixie” cups - fill them up and cover with tin foil. Keep two in refrigerator, freeze the rest. 2 servings per cup. As you empty one cup, pull another from freezer to refrigerator to thaw.

I didn’t follow this part completely - here’s what my vet said:
- 80:20 ratio of meat:vegetable
- Add one Tbsp of fish oil, flaxseed oil, or olive oil
- Calcium supplement - 500 mg tablet
- Vitamin/mineral supplement (such as 1 tablet Flintstones brand without iron) to include niacin
- Taurine supplement - 500 mg &/or clam juice
- Change tuna to some other kind of fish

High Anxiety

I subscribe to the "Buddhism Connect" Newsletter. Sometimes I get more out of it than others. I thought this was great:

A student says:

I have been reflecting on anxiety quite a bit, as it seems to be a form of suffering or unsatisfactoriness that I am particularly prone to solidfying in my life. I think I see it as a form of clinging, a profound fear of change. Instead of accepting the inevitability of change I become obsessed with the form that change will take and try to run scenarios through my mind, hoping to be able to avert or somehow control change.

Lama Shenpen responds:

That is a good description of how we are most of the time at some level or other, sometimes in more obvious ways than others. It is always the same kind of thing. It is called samsara!

The student continues:

I try to take a sort of pre-emptive strike against the possibility of suffering, which of course just leads to suffering in the form of anxiety.

Lama Shenpen replies:

Sometimes taking pre-emptive action is helpful, but the problem is that we then get attached to the result of the pre-emptive action instead of realising that it might help and it might not and that we are not attached to the result. The anxiety is being attached to a particular outcome. If we just think things through and decide to take a particular form of pre-emptive action and then relax, we get best of both worlds. We don’t just passively suffer unnecessarily nor do we add to our suffering by worrying.

There is a Tibetan proverb that I think might come from Shantideva that says something like:

If I can do something about a problem then I just need to do it and there is no need to worry. If I there is nothing I can do about a problem there is nothing to be done and so no point in worrying.

Of course we often find ourselves in the position of not being sure whether there is anything that can be done or not. That feels the worst possible scenario. I find for this kind of situation it helps to think that if I don’t know if there is anything that can be done about it or not then there is something to be done and that is to pursue the next possible avenue of investigation. And since I can only do one thing at once, if I am pursuing one line of investigation there is nothing to be done about the 100 other options that suggest themselves to me as things to worry about.

I don’t always live up to this - but it always helps me when I remember it.

--- By Lama Shenpen Hookham

Bummer

I can't believe I've been sick again. Yuk! Stomach virus this time. Nausea, nausea, and some more nausea.

I think I'm going to try to fix supper tonight. I've got rice and some Hormel beef tips (microwave from the refrigerator section - really good.) I think maybe my stomach can handle that. Well, at least the rice.

Well, onward. Slowly...

The Semantics of "I Want..."

This article, "I Want Peace," from the latest issue of Tathaastu totally ties in with one of the points I discussed yesterday. How we express what we seek is critical to receiving it.

The law of attraction is always at work whether we acknowledge it or not. The word "want" expresses a lack of something in your life. Confirming and repeating that lack prevents it from coming to you: love, material goods, success - everything. Here H.H. PUJYA SWAMI CHIDANAND SARASWATIJI explains it in "I Want Peace."

http://tathaastumag.com/index.php?hid=1774

LET the angels heal you

While strolling the Georgia Aquarium on Saturday, my lower back started really hurting me. I was seriously overdue for a chiropractic adjustment. I still am, in fact, and have an appointment Thursday. Meanwhile, as the pain got worse, I had a thought: Why am I not letting the angels adjust my back?

Really, this may seem like an "out there" concept for some people. For others, it may be a no-brainer.

Some people would say that this act would be impossible. Others, a miracle.

In my personal experience, I have had my kneecap and wrist bones physically move during Reiki sessions. When a bone snaps into alignment, it's startling, a little scary, and way, way cool.

Since I know this can be done, I was just like, "Duh. Why am I not seeking this healing? Why am I not asking right now? Why am I allowing my body to suffer in this pain?" The decision was not only easy but obvious.

How to pursue it? "Angels, can you please adjust my back?" Wait - of course they CAN. Besides, that's just a yes or no question.

"Angels, will you please adjust my back?" No, that's not correct either. I'm indicating lack. Try again.

"Angels, thank you for adjusting my back." I repeat 5-10 times not knowing what to expect. No sudden snaps, like with the Reiki. Is this going to work? Of course it's going to work! Is it working now? Am I supposed to feel something? Did I "ask" right? You get the picture.

Later that afternoon I realize, "Hey. I'm not hurting. When did that happen?" After some contemplation, I determined it was within 10 minutes of my prayer work. Very cool. While stretching that night, I notice that very few of my vertebrae are "popping" - and the ones in my lower back that always let loose are perfectly happy where they are.

I've been studying wellness for over 20 years and still forget to use some of the more obvious healing modalities from time to time. We often place too much responsibility on ourselves and don't let others provide the support that they truly want to give us - if only we let them.

It takes courage to trust others, which is what this boils down to. Where's yours?

I ate the last meal on the Titanic on the anniversary of its sinking.

I’m working on a summary from new friend Meghann’s event- http://www.georgiaaquarium.org/supportus/titaniclastmeal.aspx - I think that I have hit a new low in productivity. It’s like a hangover only without the headache and the fun drunk the night before.
Are you sure I’m not hungover? iTunes sounds way too loud.
So Meghann was like, Oh, Halloween’s coming up – let’s get some ghost hunters in here with the Titanic exhibit for an event (her job is publicity.) Imagine her shock when they actually found something – and not just with the Titanic exhibit but with the Aquarium.
Watch Ghost Hunters tonight @ 9:00 EDT on SciFi to see Meghann and what they found. Here’s the preview: http://video.scifi.com/player/?id=1082428 Wow – that was a cool preview. They didn’t share all that with us last night. Of course, they always hype them up. Still, go Meghann!

Okay, here’s the Cliff Notes actually smaller than that) edition:
Got there near the start with friends Nichole & Alice. Thank God N drove. Staff didn’t even look at the ticket I ran back to my desk to print. Champagne and some kind of quail egg hors d’oeuvres. I missed this as I got volunteered to do the tour with my new friend Hollis and another couple for the CBS-46 news crew 11p.m. footage as “people looking at the Titanic exhibit.” I didn’t even get to see if I made the cut (forgot Clinton could do distance Direct TV.) If you caught it, I’m in white with the retro pink shawl.
This was also my first ever visit to the Aquarium. It was gorgeous, especially at night and without the crowds. Dinner was really, really good. Wolfgang Puck’s folks did an awesome job of updating the actual menu of the last meal served aboard the Titanic. It was 97 years later to the day. That was eerier than anything else. Which really says something, considering the rest of the evening was focused on the paranormal.
We were totally and completely exhausted well before it was over with. The Atlanta affiliate of TAPS gave a presentation on their equipment, session protocol, and incident evaluation. We were then split into groups of 25-30 covering sections of the aquarium and exhibit in rotation. It was a cool concept, however the reality of sitting in the dark for half an hour with 30 strangers was not the best way of collecting data, in my humble opinion. I swear, I would throw all the data out without ever looking at it. There were just been no way to look out for every shuffle, cough, and shadow.
Nichole was sick with allergies, and she had the car. We bailed about an hour early. I was so tired I didn’t care. And I still had to drive home from her house. Here’s a summary from Hollis:

Subject: end of the night
“In the very last room there were "strange" things happening but honestly I think it was just that we were all beat by that time and we would believe or hear whatever we wanted."

So I’m excited to see the episode from a semi-been-there-done-that perspective. That’s all.

Confessions

3/10/2009
I haven't been writing on any of my blogs for a while. Months, in fact. The truth is that since late October and I have been either diagnosed or sick with a nice little range of illnesses and injuries.

At first I thought I wouldn't write about what was going on because I didn't want to focus on it. As time went on, I didn't write about it because I just didn't have the energy to write about it. Since I don't see an end to this, I figure I may as well 'fess up and get it over with.

In September and October, I started having all this pain in my left foot. My bones would crunch, and I honestly thought I had a stress fracture. My orthopedic did two different sets of x-rays on two visits to make sure we hadn't missed one. What he did find was this symptom called "Mulder's click" - it's where bones in your foot that aren't supposed to move actually move enough to make this clicking sound you can hear. And since this is a symptom, that begs the question, "What is this clicking a symptom of?"

[see - I'm too tired to finish this now so I'm taking a break to lie down.]


3/28/2009
Ok, so I came down with a 48-hour vertigo-like virus (yay - I only puked once) and am just now getting back to this. Meanwhile, I've been on a last-minute vacation to the Florida Keys. (Clinton was originally going solo, and I'm smart enough not to pass up that invitation.)

Now we're on a planned vacation in Santa Barbara. Clinton surprised me by making this our anniversary vacation. Our anniversary is actually at the end of August, so we often have conflicts and travel issues around Labor Day. This was much more pleasant - and less crowded.

However, continuing with the health junk, I've gone on an anti-inflammatory for my foot (which KILLED me going to, from, and while we were in Islamorada) plus I have developed an ingrown toenail (don't ask me how - I was wearing Birks) that's been oozing puss every couple days. (Yes, I got a pedicure within a few hours which helped immensely, and while it doesn't hurt so much, it was full of puss again last night.) And my foot still hurts off and on with the click/neuroma junk.

I was listening to Louise Hay's "I Can Do It" affirmations this morning. I am going to love my body through all of this. It will feel good again. I just need to remember to accept, support healing, and not be frustrated. I can do that.

Lost Again

I really looooove me some fiction. Especially easy to read, fun stories. I also seem to have this thing about vampires. Apparently, I'm not the only one because there are so many books out there.

Lately have been lost in the Twilight series. It was recommended to me by several friends I trust. I must admit, I'm enjoying it immensely. Therefore in this series, and each book runs about 600 pages. It's not unusual for me to read an entire book at a time. These are too much for even me. I'm really enjoying the content, plot, and characters, though.

Right now I'm in book three, Eclipse. I'm on page 400 something, and tired of the preparations for what ever battle. I'm frustrated and taking a break. Anyway, it's taking up a lot of my time. I'm also really tired.

That's it! They've sucked me dry!

Be prepared for Mercury Retrograde

This is an update from Moonology.com. Yasmin happens to be Australian, and I have found her to be very accurate.

Be prepared for Mercury Retrograde

You may well have heard the term Mercury Retrograde.

This phenomenon occurs 4 times in 2009, the first time lasts from 11th January till the end of the month.

Mercury does not actually move backwards but appears to do so from our viewpoint on Earth, as when a fast train passes a slower train, the slower one appears to go backward, when viewed from the faster train.

Mercury is all about communication and our aptitude for understanding the world around us. This is an ideal time for reflection, not the best time to act without first looking back over or reflecting on past actions that could well affect what you may be contemplating or proposing in the near future.

Mercury is all about the way we take in information and communicate it to others. It is therefore important for you to understand fully which sign of the Zodiac your Mercury is placed, and the way you utilize this important part of your personality.

Best wishes,

Moonology.com

 

Visit our Astrology Store at http://moonology.myastrologystore.com

Not So Daily

Apparently, I'm not doing a great job keeping up with this blog. Maybe that's what happens when you keep multiple blogs going.

I'm on day two of a migraine. This sometimes are more subtle, however I think I'm making it worse by trying to work on the computer. I have enough Type A in me that a ton of emails and an almost complete (now finished) website have made me masochistic. Joy.

It's hard to believe that two weeks ago I was giving someone advice on how to help their own migraines. I don't have them often. Really. Excedrin really takes the edge off. By the way, Excedrin and Excedrin Migraine have the exact same ingredients, so it doesn't matter which one you buy. (Yeah, I'm a label reader.)

I've been told that I fit the archetype of the "wounded healer. "

Who is The Wounded Healer? Many articles and books have been written about 'The Wounded Healer.' It is the person who has gone through suffering, sometimes great, and as a result of that process has become a source of great wisdom, healing power and inspiration for others. In fact, the archetypal wounded healer undergoes a transformation as a result of their wound, their suffering and pain. They can actually transcend it, and successfully lead themselves to a path of service. It is as if the wound itself helps you drive yourself to an inner journey that becomes the transformation itself. One strips away the selfish, ego-based feeling of being all alone in our wound and expands to see others and how if one chooses a different role, one can help.

The Wounded Healer is often the Victim - He who must suffer the wounds of life to understand. Do you set yourself up to be a victim?

There are many wounded healers that we all know, once we start to think about it. Christopher Reeve, 'Superman', became paralyzed and is now a champion in fighting and researching how to cure such spinal paralysis. Lance Armstrong has continued to win cycling tournaments and is a fundraiser for cancer. They have gone beyond their illness and suffering, and it does not define them, despite the fact that their wound might still be visible.
from http://www.crystalinks.com/woundedhealer.html

So here I am. Again. At least I have chiropractic and Reiki scheduled for tomorrow.

Interesting thought about language this morning

Interesting thought about language this morning.

"so we don't have to worry"

Energetically speaking, that's a double negative.

To create positive energy, I would change it to read:

"so we feel safe and secure"

Now it's energetically a double positive.

Meditation du Jour

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it's all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway. 

                                                                                - Mother Teresa 

My Review of Birkenstock Boston Suede Clogs (For Women)

Originally submitted at Sierra Trading Post

Closeouts . Birkenstock's Boston suede clogs are simply styled with an adjustable midfoot strap and signature cork midsoles, which gradually mold to your foot's unique shape the more you wear them. Suede-lined footbed Arch support Toe bar Suede uppers Closeouts . Germany. Widths...

Super Comfortable

By Kristi from Atlanta, GA on 12/15/2008

 

Sizing: Feels true to size

Width: Feels true to width

Pros: Comfortable, Cute, Durable

Best Uses: Going Out, Everyday Wear, Travel

Describe Yourself: Stylish, Alternative

This is my first pair of Boston's. They feel a little different than what I expected - in a good way. And of course, I'm happy to have them in pink!

(legalese)